Dogster.com

Ever since Alfie was confined at the clinic, there was never a day I did not browse his dogster account which I created last January 2005. I have never updated it in a long while and today I am not sure if I should write "in loving memory" in his profile or if I would just keep him alive. I choose the latter. He will forever be alive in my heart.

If you get the chance, checkitout! Also, Louise's.

In Memoriam: Alfie

D' Punisher "Alfie" of NPR

13 July 2004 - 10 February 2008

I woke up at 7am from a two-hour sleep yesterday and prepared to visit Alfie in the clinic. As I was dressing up, I called up the vet to let him know I was coming.

Me: Good morning, Doc. I'll be there in a few minutes. How's Alfie?
Vet: I was just trying to call you. He didn't make it.
Me: ...
Vet: He slept the whole day yesterday. At 11pm, he was having a shortness of breath. He was in comatose at 3am and at 5am, he's gone. I'm sorry.
Me: Okay. So what do I do now?
Vet: Would you like us to bury him or do you want to do it yourself?
Me: Please do it. I can't see him. I don't want to see him. But I'm going there now. I'll bring his puppies and his one year old dog. I'll bring Louise some other time.
Vet: Okay, see you.

As soon as I hang up, I was shaking and crying. I boohooed inside my room. I cried until I can cry no more. I miss Alfie and I will miss him for as long as I live.

Sleepless...

It's four in the morning.

I can't bring myself to sleep.

I am exhausted from crying the whole night.

Alfie is still alive but he looks terrible.

I know he's not gonna make it and there's nothing I can do.

Alfie Update II

There is still no sign of improvement. I took Alfie out of the clinic and transferred him to a recommended veterinarian. And there he was treated and diagnosed properly. The new vet, Dr. Jorge Ferrer told me that Alfie is really in bad, bad shape and he will do what he can but made no guarantee which I perfectly understand. I just want Alfie to have the best treatment possible.

Right now I am hoping for a miracle.

Alfie Update

I woke up early feeling sick and the first thing I did was to call the clinic. I felt so relieved knowing that Alfie is still alive. I decided to call in sick so I could spend time with him and have his lab test. He is still weak.

At around 7pm, I received a phone call from the vet saying that Alfie was dying and that we should go there immediately. I felt so numb. I didn't cry nor panic. I didn't feel a thing. I couldn't even move. I told Deda and our driver to pick him up. I just couldn't make myself see him lifeless. A few minutes after they left, I got another call from the vet telling me that it was just a false alarm. I literally ran to the clinic to see for myself and there he was...looking so weak but still alive. At that moment, the vet was getting to my nerves already. I was mad at her I wanted to ask if she is a veterinarian at all. I wanted to transfer Alfie to a more reputable clinic but it was already late. I'll do it first thing tomorrow.

Alfie

I received a call early in the afternoon from Deda asking if I would allow that my dog Alfie be brought to the vet and have him confined because he is sick. I was initially surprised because I didn't see it coming but later in the day realized that I should have expected it because I have neglected him. I have never for the longest time paid attention to him nor have I ever took a minute to even glance at him because my attention is with Louise and the newly born puppies.

From work, I planned to go home first but when I passed by the clinic, my instinct told me to step out of the cab and visit him. When I saw him, I was beyond shocked. I couldn't believe he is THE Alfie I used to play with. He is beyond recognition and he is so so so weak. When I arrived, he was lying down. I called his name and tried to communicate with him and he responded. In fact, he got a little hyper, tried to stand and walk but he was in really bad shape and was falling. After a while, he had seizures. I thought he was gonna die. That moment I lost control. I cried so hard. I cried not only because I felt I'm gonna lose him but also because I knew that I failed him. I did not give the proper care and attention he so rightfully deserves. He gave me 14 beautiful puppies and I gave him NOTHING. I felt so sorry and ashamed. And the thing is, he still recognizes me. He gave me a look that says everything and I understood. It was like he was trying to say: "I forgive you. Please take care of me. I don't want to go...just yet." He was in the worst form but he was trying to survive. I went home crying and feeling soooooo bad. At 3am, I was still crying and praying for him. I want him to survive because I want to give him what he truly deserves and make up for everything I have and have not done. I never thought I would cry over a dog. I never thought a dog would have touched my heart so much the way Alfie did. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I lost him.

One Dog Sold

I posted an ad in Girltalk for my shih tzu puppies to be sold. It was actually a bargain price but I just wanted them to have new loving owners and homes since we can't really give special attention to them all at the same time anymore. After two days, I was on my way to Baclaran to meet the buyer of one of the puppies. She was actually a cousin of the real buyer who is based in Iloilo. The transaction had to be done immediately because they had to arrange for the airline documentation so they can bring her with them to Iloilo on Sunday. I felt happy and sad at the same time seeing my puppy being carried away by the new owner. *Sigh* I hope she stays healthy and loving and playful forever.

Frigadee, thanks for your constant communication. Please don't hesitate to message me anytime for updates and feedback. I know you'll take good care of her. Please share her pictures with us.